MyDailyToke.com

Archive for the ‘a call for work’ Category

Katie Holmes completely tried her human best, but the remnants of alien being left inside her (according to crazy scientology that she follows) did manage to gather together sequences and make that shit look like she was dancing. We’re pretty much over the Cruise clan, apart from Cris Klein’s daughter Suri, and any point in time where Tom Cruise decides that it’s a good idea to go on the Today show and talk about prescription meds, because you know he’s bound to call someone glib or summon zenu to the ABC set….If you don’t mind desperate hungry hippo like dancing and heidi montag like singing for attention, don’t watch…but otherwise enjoy with some special green on hand

p.s.- i guess her “performance” was for charity…..people will tolerate anything if its “for the kids”

According to a source Amy and her father Mitch want to develop her trademark “smoky” look into a woman’s fragrance. What I don’t think Amy and her father have realized is that Amy’s “smoky” look isn’t a good thing at all.

“Mitch is keen to license Amy’s name to a perfume house. He has been in talks with manufacturers and contacted PR firms for advice. They want it to reflect her style with a classic smoky 1950s look and smell”, a source says, “Amy is keen to expand her brand and wants to get on the celebrity perfumes bandwagon while she can. They know her fans love to copy her style. Her trademark fashion and beehive hair-do were last year’s must-have look.”

Unfortunately for Amy, Fragrance experts aren’t sure they want to work with the celebrity rehab singer because they’re worried customers will be discouraged by Amy’s disheveled appearance. One perfume insider said the most truthful hilarious comment I’ve ever heard:

“Frankly, she doesn’t look like she smells that nice, so doing some positive publicity to prove it doesn’t just smell of stale alcohol and cigarettes would be vital.”

I do believe she’ll make a ton of money with her perfume but they’ll just have to market the scent to a certain population, crystle meth tweekers  like Aaron Carter would love to get their shakey hands on a bottle of what Amy Winehouse smells like. Amy this blunt’s for you in the hope that you can stop being a trainreck and just worry about making music.

Fresh off his 18 month prison sentence and a 2 month house arrest stint stemming from his involvement in a dog fighting operation. Although the former dog killer has been relased he may not make a quick return to the NFL. Vick, a quarterback, is not eligible to restart his football career until he is reinstated by N.F.L. Commissioner Roger Goodell. Goodell who has previously mentioned that he would not consider re-instating Vick into the NFL until after he had completed his full sentence,but no word has been given as to if he’s begun pondering this issue. The fact that training camp starts in about a week for most teams doesn’t really help his situation much, but it’s not like he was playing before he went to prison. Michael has been out of the NFL for nearly 2 years and while in jail and under home confinement he hadnt had much o an opportunity to train.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that I doubt Vick will be playing this season in the NFL. He has been offered a chance to become a member of the United Football League, but the caces of him actually taking that job are slim to none, unless his reported pending bankruptcy is true and not just fodder. Maybe Vick shouldnt have been killing dogs and shit and I wouldnt be writing about this, he’d still be playing football, and the world would be a little bit happier…..but we live in reality so Vick we’re glad you’ve done your time, now its time to get your act together and fly straight otherwise your next job might be catching fucking dogs rather than penning them against each other to fight.

Apparently her prescription salary demands were too crazy for FOX to handle because it doesn’t look like the straight-up singer will be sharing her medicated joy with America next season. Paula “I like pills” Abdul’s manager, David Sonenberg released a brief statement yesterday saying that, “it does not appear that Paula’s going to be back on Idol” next season because the singer and walking zombie judge hadn’t yet received a new contract from FremantleMedia and 19 Entertainment, the production companies behind the show. Sonenberg who has only been representing Abdul since June expressed his frustration adding

“I find it under these circumstances particularly unusual; I think unnecessarily hurtful. I find it kind of unconscionable and certainly rude and disrespectful that they haven’t stepped up and said what they want to do.”

This is pretty sad because although I dont watch AI religiously anymore I still take comfort in knowing that I can turn on my tv and see Paula’s special way of getting her points across which i’ve aptly named her “crazy jumbled pill speak gibberish.” If this was the show’s plan all along to just ditch Paula as the price of prescriptions rise thats awful dirty. 19 Entertainment has something else coming to them though if they think that Paula’s “prescription pals”  are gonna take this one lying down with a sliced straw and some hard sniffing as usual. I can almost see it now, the “re-hire Paula campaign” to be sponsored by Abbott Pharm, the makers of Vicodin. OK, we dont really think that they are gonna let thier best trainwreck ratings draw leave the show. I kind of have the feeling that this will all be settled before filming for what seems like the 100th season of American Idol begins on August 6th. Don’t pop pills for fun, they can kill you people…embrace the burning trees and breathe in please… aka smoke some weed

No, she didn’t get Cisco Adler’s balls stuck in her nose again, but Mischa Barton was rushed to the hopital for an unknown reason yesterday in LA.

Authorities responded to a non-911 call around 3 PM on Wednesday at the actress’ home. A patrol car responded to the scene and they escorted Barton from her residence to an undisclosed location. I’m not sure they could be anymore vauge about the situation though…do people go to hospitals for issues that aren’t medical?…is Gary Busey her publicist because if releasing that statement was a ploy to not draw attention, someone needs some training. The wannabe Lindsay Lohan Keds spokeswoman is no stranger to the LAPD and was charged in February 2008 with four criminal counts related to a DUI arrest which occurred on December 26, 2007.

After a stint in rehab and her Wino-like move to a foreign country you’d think that she’d want to be a working actress. but when your personal life over shadows your professional work, or lack there of, it’s pretty much a done deal…If the washed up wacktress Mischa doesn’t begin to take her craft a bit more seriously the next question she’ll be asking won’t be, “ummm where’s the blow and burgers”, but something along the lines of….”Are they still making new seasons of Celebrity Rehab, with that Dr. Drew guy, I’d snog him”

Hermit-like funnyman Dave Chappelle gave an impromptu performace in Portland, Oregon’s pioneer square in the early hours of yesterday morning. While thousands of people showed up to see Dave’s secret performance he was not prepared for the turnout. Chappelle had only planned for a very small amount of people to show up and had only bought a sound system that would allow his voice to be heard for the first few rows of the thousands of people that packed the square. Chappelle though, who refused to disappoint did stay for two hours and entertained the huge crowd to the best of his ability given the sound system. Chappelle also apologized for his lack of audio, citing the fact that he didn’t think he was still famous….well let’s see….he did have probably the biggest show on comedy central behind south park and a $50 million contract  and then you just kind of disappeard, so fuck yes you’re still famous. In the video clip above, you can notice Dave mention that he smells “reffer” and then someone in the crowd offers him some and he politely declined, quoting an old Nancy Reagan after school special and simply saying no….I’d like to believe that had cameras not been plastered on him 24/7 he would’ve certainly accepted the herbal refreshment being offered, after all he is the creator of one of the greatest stoner movies ever, Half Baked….tokes for Chappelle and maybe a show in the tri-state area sometime soon???

We were high and looking for funny shit to look at aimlessly searching the web the other day and ran across this gem of a photo from one of the most desperate for work greatest actors of our time. With films like Ghost Rider and Knowing previously under his belt Nicolas will take any role is poised to become the white Samuel L Jackson, just a lot less talented.  We also wanted to take the time and call for crazy faced Cage to take more pride in his work.We really enjoyed National Treasure 1 and controlled out vomit sat patiently through the second installment, which was only soooo painful because it was the exact same premise, with less humor. While I know a recurring theme of shittyness “less” is sure to follow Cage around, we want him to know that you can still look like a caged animal with fucked up teeth Larry King’s illegitimate child and be successfull. Tokes for the creepers, Nick Cage included.

Does Nicolas look better when he was Larry King’s illegitmate child or presently as Clay Aiken’s father???