My Daily Toke

Archive for the ‘Crazy as Cat Shit’ Category

This is some bizzaro crazy face shit. Teens in San Ysidr, CA were caught with cannabis and heroin taped to their bodies. WTF are these kids doing smuggling drugs. I’ve never been able to grasp why people are so intrigued by quick cash that comes with such a huge risk. People really do get caught smuggling drugs, check out locked up abroad, that shit is no joke. Check out the dumbest kids of the year above.

Some of you might have seen this video before but for those of you who haven’t you’re in for quite an experience. I discovered Cybil one late night during my insomniac period not too far back but it’s from the show “LAPD: Life on the Beat”. I decided to give Cybil the creeper of the moment award because she looks like a Star Jones and Eddie Murphy love child. Yes I know the name of the show just kills it, but most of the calls that the usually boring cops would go on are nothing short of roll on the floor fucking hilarious and this one certainly is as well. Cybil has the greatest crazy eyes and biggest dollar store glasses on that i’ve ever seen, but she does it all for the love of her Tupac and cheap $o.50 beer. I won’t wast more time telling you about it just watch and laugh and toke…oh and share…DAMN WHO I LIVE WIT

WTF is Lindsay Lohan doing back in Colorado? is the first though that popped in my head when I heard this….and then I realized that she’s been in LA chasing a boyish looking lesbian for quite sometime, so the story of a lifetime isn’t here yet. A grand jury indicted a surgery technician infected with hepatitis C on several charges Thursday, alleging she stole syringes with painkillers and replaced them with needles she had used. Prosecutors allege that at least 19 people contracted the disease as a result.

26 year old Kristine Diane Parker is responsible for directly infecting the 19 people through the shared use of her dirty needles. Officials say up to 6,000 patients at Denver’s Rose Medical Center and Audubon Surgery Center in Colorado Springs where Parker worked may have been exposed to the disease. Calls to spokesmen at both hospitals were not immediately returned. Parker also worked at hospitals in Mount Kisco, N.Y., and Houston. Health officials in those states have launched investigations. In a recent interview with police Parker has said that she didn’yt have health insurance to treat her nasty std disease and she was also unclear abot her diagnosis. State Health officials say that they are working with the CDC to trace the disease, but we think they should have Paris Hilton on the ob, becase her body seeks out and welcomes stds, almost like her snatch acts as a rest-stop for hep c, the herp, and the like…

This is really crazy that this surgery tech who works in close quarters with the ill, thinks she can fuck around and give possibly 6000 people her scheevy diseases…Lock her upand scrub her down please..barf..and that mugshot, she kinda looks like a young Dina Lohan

We all seem to have that one grandmother who loves to go to the casino to play slots, but most of us haven’t been stuck in a car with no air conditioner just so grandma can feed her addictions. A 54 year old Florida woman was sentenced yesterday to 14 months house arrest and 3 years of probation for leaving her 2 year old granddaughter and 14 year old grandson in a car outside a Hallandale Beach casino back in August of 2008 so she can go inside and play the slots. Someone walked by the car and noticed the children just sitting there and told casino security who alerted the authorities. The prosecutor told the South Florida Sun Sentinel that the 54 year old woman had pleaded guilty to charges including felony child abuse and misdemeanor contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

When I was young my grandmother brought me to the casino and dumped me off in the kid area. I would spend countless hours playing video games and from what I remember I had a great time but I always knew if the kids area wasn’t there I might be locked in a car with no air conditioning with one window cracked just enough to breathe. So this story isn’t that crazy to me (or it could be the quality herb I’ve consumed). This blunt goes out to the grandmother sentenced in the hope that next time she gets that thought she’ll spark up and reconsider…well she does have 14 months of house arrest to think about it, but she’ll probably be busy gambling online.

Well I guess it looks like another one of our civil liberties as Americans is up for grabs and freedom of speech is its’ name. Judge John “Jack” Delaney of South Dakota recently forbid a Mr. Bob Newland of SD from taking any public role in the campaign to legalize marijuana for medical uses for one year. The restriction was part of the judge’s sentence issued Monday for Newland’s conviction for felony pot possession. Delaney sentenced Newland to a year in jail but suspended all but 45 days, with stipulations including random searches and weekly drug tests and a ban on public advocacy for medical marijuana. Newland could end up serving all or part of the remaining jail time if he violates terms of the sentence.

While the sentence for felony marijuana possession under current laws was seemingly reasonable, how in the fuck does a judge have the right to take away someone’s right to campaign for something that they believe in??? The fact that a judge has the right to inflict his personal views upon a person through sentencing should raise a huge flag for intelligent citizens of the US as to where our country is headed if things like this continue to happen.

Delaney also lectured Newland on the lies that have been created through racism about problems of marijuana use, particularly among youths, and told the outspoken advocate for legalizing marijuana for medicinal use that he was “not going to take a position as a public figure who got a light sentence.” This is seriously crazy shit, but the American Civil Liberties Union of South Dakota is currently looking into the sentence. Also if you like I do, feel the need to contact Judge Delany, he can be reached at jack@judgedelaney.com……I hope you enoyed the creepy cruise ship pic beautiful picture of Delany and his badger faced wife. Since Bob Newland can’t currently campaign in the direction of common sense which is legalization, we must do it for him….Tokes for Newland and his upcoming jail time.

According to the NY Daily News the fucking crazies that kill people for a living Taliban has been buying and selling children to use on their “martyrdom” missions. The supposed trafficking is being orchestrated by Baitullah Mehsud, who is an Al Queda ally and the head of Pakistani terror efforts. And although I was trying to stick with the facts on this one….WTF is going on with the apple pie on his head, fuck now im hungry…or it could be the munchies..his hair looks like Chaka Kahn’s bush that of a bum-ass terrorist so I guess ill leave it at that.

Both US and Pakistani military have been targeting Taliban strongholds controlled by Mehsud. On Tuesday, a U.S. drone fired a missile into a Taliban camp near the Afghan border, according to intelligence officials.

“He has been been admitting he holds a training center for young boys, for preparing them for suicide bombing,”  Maj. Gen. Akhtar Abbas, spokesman for the Pakistani army, told CNN. “So he is on record saying all this, accepting these crimes.”

You know, now that I think about it, I’ve known that human trafficking is a very real thing i our world,but I just never thought that people were being sold into the world of terrorism. Its some pretty heavy shit, but its real and if people don’t know that its going on, it can’t change….so bowl packs and positive thoughts go out to the victims of such disgusting crimes.

Alright so Lindsay Lohan has been in and out of the news for a number of dumb shit lesbian encounters with Samantha Ronson recently but US Weekly is reporting that the actress who’s been in such movies as “I Know Who Killed Me” had the audacity to turn down the part of Jade the stripper in the box office blockbuster “The Hangover”. Though all we see Lohan doing lately is participating in an on again off again lesbian relationship with Samantha, all we hear from her publicist is that she’s a workaholic and wants to be a huge actress. Well someone might want to tell her that her film choices, just like her relationships, blow. She believed the screenplay had no potential, $268 million worldwide later, she should probably never speak again. Here’s a passage from the US Weekly article;

Lindsay Lohan passed up a chance at a career comeback. The hard-partying starlet turned down a role in the summer blockbuster “The Hangover,” according to Us Weekly, because she said the screenplay “had no potential.” Todd Phillips, who directed the comedy, offered Lohan the role of Jade, a stripper played by Heather Graham. One source told the magazine Lohan’s agent “tried hard to get Phillips to consider her,” but “Lindsay said she didn’t like the script.” Lohan’s rep didn’t return e-mails.

Though we don’t particularly care about Heather Graham, we’re happy she had the sense to take the role and to her credit, acted rather well in the movie. Sorry Lindsay you missed the chance to actually be remembered as something other than an alcoholic lesbian party girl with an even bigger alcoholic party girl as a mother (mmmhmm we see you Dina). This blunt’s for you because when you hear how much the movie made it should make you nauseous and herb can help with that.

Also anyone who hasn’t seen “The Hangover” yet please go and see it, it’s definatley worth the price of a ticket but for a heightened comedy experience make sure you have some herbal refreshment as well.

This isn’t a joke and actually I’m not so suprised. The FDA is warning consumers not to buy two types of energy drinks that come packaged in test tube like vials, saying that utility knife blades were found in two vials.

Hardcore Energize Bullet Drink & New Whey liquid products are the culprits and both have been recalled. HMMM… Hardcore Energize Bullet Drink??? I’m not trying to say it was necessary that this happened, but with a fucking name like that maybe someone thought that a blade would add to the brands believability???….Finding a utility knife blade in my drink would be pretty damn hardcore and would certainly scare the shit out of me energize me, but whatever the case is, I don’t fuck with energy drinks anyhow. They make some people look like robots on crack and I deal with my fair share of crack addicted robots already, so I’m good.

No one has been injured by the armed energy drink (gimme one bad joke people) but the FDA is warning consumers to not purchase them….and I’m telling you to not fuck with energy drinks and have an all natural weed refreshment….maybe something of the herbal family because you probably won’t find a blade just hanging out in your stash.

David S. Rohde, a reporter for the New York Times escaped from Taliban captivity Friday with Afghan reporter Tahi Ludin after more than 7 months of being held captive. On Friday Rohde & Ludin escaped by climbing over a wall of the compound they were being held and found a Pakistani army scout who lead them to a nearby base. The 2 were flown today to a U.S. military base in Bagram and are in good health. The 2 men along with a driver, who according to Rohde chose to stay and join the Taliban, were abducted November 10th south of Kabul on their way to interview a Taliban commander. Due to a request from the Times, The Associated Press & most other western news outlets didn’t report on the abductions because the publicity could negatively effect hostage rescue efforts.

David’s wife of 9 months(7 months of which David was held captive) thanked the Times, the U.S. government,and all others who helped the family during the kidnapping. To be honest when I hear about reporters getting abducted it usually doesn’t end well. Glad you’re safe and welcome home, this blunt’s for you.

Former mountain biking world champion Melissa “Missy” Giove was held on $250,000 bail Thursday after federal authorities said they’ve seized more then 200 pounds of marijuana from a truck she was driving in upstate New York Tuesday. Melissa along with Eric Canori were charged with conspiring to possess and distribute more then 100 kilograms of herb. Not only did they find the 200 lbs of the “magic” weed in her vehicle but authorities also found nearly 200 more lbs of weed and almost 1 million dollars in cash stashed in a closet & basement in Canori’s home. Missy was also ordered to surrender her passport due to the fact that the judge believes she’s a flight risk.

Of course the public defender for Giove claimed the drugs & money found in her vagina truck was planted, possibly by police. Giove was the 1994 downhill world champion but retired from downhill racing in 2003. So my guess is she was in need of money. I don’t condone getting caught driving around with hundreds of pounds of weed but what puzzles me more then that is the attempt at claiming the drugs were planted. When you get involved in illegal activities you know the consequences that can occur so you can’t cry wolf. Being a herbal enthusiast gives her some points but getting caught and blaming others isn’t cool so unfortunately Missy, no tokes for you this evening.