My Daily Toke

Archive for the ‘Oops’ Category

We all seem to have that one grandmother who loves to go to the casino to play slots, but most of us haven’t been stuck in a car with no air conditioner just so grandma can feed her addictions. A 54 year old Florida woman was sentenced yesterday to 14 months house arrest and 3 years of probation for leaving her 2 year old granddaughter and 14 year old grandson in a car outside a Hallandale Beach casino back in August of 2008 so she can go inside and play the slots. Someone walked by the car and noticed the children just sitting there and told casino security who alerted the authorities. The prosecutor told the South Florida Sun Sentinel that the 54 year old woman had pleaded guilty to charges including felony child abuse and misdemeanor contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

When I was young my grandmother brought me to the casino and dumped me off in the kid area. I would spend countless hours playing video games and from what I remember I had a great time but I always knew if the kids area wasn’t there I might be locked in a car with no air conditioning with one window cracked just enough to breathe. So this story isn’t that crazy to me (or it could be the quality herb I’ve consumed). This blunt goes out to the grandmother sentenced in the hope that next time she gets that thought she’ll spark up and reconsider…well she does have 14 months of house arrest to think about it, but she’ll probably be busy gambling online.

While David was making his rounds to network and cable news shows last week to promote his work with Feeding America he stopped over at Fox and Friends where he was asked his opinion about Judge Sonia Sotomayor. David replied by saying “I think Latina women are, I mean, it depends on the woman, but I think they are very, they have great judgment, but there are some that are just nuts. I’m just saying.” Let’s start by asking Fox and Friends why they feel David Arquette was a qualified person to discuss politics with? David swears he was trying to be funny and has issued an apology claiming he has “love” for Latina women.

“I would like to issue an apology for the comments I made on Fox and Friends. My intent was to be humorous and not offensive,” “I have nothing but love and respect for Latina women and women in general of all cultural backgrounds. What saddens me most is that it took away from the issue of Hunger in America for which I was on the show to begin with,” he continued. “I work in a pantry in Venice California with a Hispanic women named Delpia (who has been feeding people at St. Joseph’s Center for 29 years) and she is my personal hero. Having been raised in Los Angeles I have grown up with a deep and profound love for the Latino culture.”

I’m not going to lie, It’s a decent apology and as weird as it sounds I want to believe the story. This blunt’s for you David simply for the fact you’re doing another scream apology you gave. Also I don’t blame just David for this statement, Fox and Friends has this thing where they ask you random questions about nothing you’re trying to discuss simply to get an unorthodox answer. This blunt’s for you David but you have to share with you’re Latina friends.

Chris “beat her down” Brown has finally made a last attempt to save his career set the record straight about how sorry he really is about the incident that occurred in February when he assaulted Rhianna. Last month, Brown plead guilty to felony assault in a plea bargain with prosecutors, sparring him jail time. As part of the deal, he was sentenced to five years probation and six months of community labor to be served in Virginia. He will also complete a year of domestic violence classes, and pay fines.

In the video Chris which seriously doesn’t seem very genuine Chris notes that he cannot go into detail as to what specifically happened and that he is not making the video as a forum to spit out excuses. Possibly if he showed some compassion and a bit of regret from the beginning of the whirlwind that surrounded both he and Rhianna directly following the incident, maybe people wouldn’t have branded him a monster. Then there is the video that he made previous to this one which also addresses the incident, but in a slightly different light: in the first video that brown made, he makes sure that people know, “I’m not a monster, i love my fans, you know the truth.” Hmmmm those statements don’t sound like they are coming from someone who had just been arrested for felony assault? Well the most recent “apology” video is posted above so draw your own conclusions, but we’ve made up our minds…..Chris who???

You know, it’s been a while since the sex tape gods had blessed us with a gift from above. There were Rhianna’s nude pics and then Cassie (both obviously NSFW) ,  but people probably don’t even remember Cassie sharing her vajayjay and nips with the world cause she’s lame, haha

When I head rumblings via TMZ that Leighton was soon going to be the the next star of  ”the greatest personal gift that celebrities can give the world”, AKA her own fucking sex tape, i thought nah, not the gossip girl one that was born in prison…prison babies know better than that, j/k, that wasnt her fault..but my grandmda watches TMZ with a sweet tea like its her fucking job, and she believes everything they say, so I probably should’ve jumped on the bandwagon a while ago. the tape was apparently made a couple years ago with an ex-boyfriend

But for serious Leighton, FOOT JOBS…are we in middle school???  just kidding foot jobs are for adults and 23 yrear old  future sex tape stars named Leighton. Nobody i know gives foot jobs and if they did….they for damn sure wouldnt be videotaping it…it’s ok Leighthon, give Barbara Walters the exclusive first interview and you’ll be just fine, but until then stop giving people foot jobs please, unless its me…..link to the creepy pics below, but if you just want to see the soon to be famous feet, check the pic at the top for a teaser

Leighton’s sexy foot job pics mmmm….hahah, last joke really

Venezuela quarantined a Spanish cruise ship on Wednesday after three crew members were diagnosed with the H1N1 flu virus and Barbados and Grenada refused to allow its passengers to disembark. The quarantined cruise ship, The Ocean Dream, is owned by Royal Caribbean and its being said that passengers will not be allowed to disembark the ship for an entire week. While I realize that may not sound like very long on a ruise ship, with some cruises lasting up to 14 days, but remember that a crusie ship is about exploration and no doubt these quarantined cruisers will want to at least explore the ship since they cannot leave it. With 3 comfirmed cases already there is also no doubt in my mind that there are other crew members infected because the crews on ships work in extremely close quarters.

Royal Caribbean has not relased an offical statement as of yet and we wonder how the fuck they’ll manage to do damage control with this because the swine flu is quickly owning up to its name as a pandemic, especially in Spain, a country that I myself have plans to visit very soon?

Two unaccompanied girls were placed on wrong Continental Express flights over the weekend. An 8-year-old College Station girl incorrectly ended up in Fayetteville, Arkansas, and a 10-year-old Massachusetts girl was mistakenly sent to Newark, N.J., after boarding planes operated by ExpressJet, which is under contract with Continental.

Continental Airlines has released a statement simply stating that the mix-up was a “miscommunication among staff.” On Sunday, Jonathan Kamens said he put his daughter, Miriam, on a Cleveland-bound flight at Logan Airport in Boston to visit her grandparents. He told WBZ-TV that shortly after the plane landed in Ohio, his father-in-law called saying she had not arrived. Kamens said for 45 minutes no one could tell him where his daughter was. She was finally located unharmed in Newark and in the end all Continental has offered him for compensation is $75 bucks.

For fucking serious Continental??? 75 dollars wont even buy that same flight to cleveland. I would probably want 5 free round trip flights to anywhere and i’d probably use them all flying to the motherland, Amsterdam. Spend a day in Amnesia and then profess my love to a lady of the night in the red light district, but i don’t like doing the same things twice while on vacation so who knows…

Heres our favorite sober girl in her favorite state of undress….we wonder why Lindsay would be taking these pics of herself, but anywho we kinda wish her hair would move a bit or someone would’ve  dangled a baggie of blow bible behind her so that she would turn her head revealing her  nice tittays…we can’t always get what we want so we’ll probably just go smoke some special green stuff while pretending to be a pirate and be happy that she’s not munching walking on Samantha Ronsons carpet at the moment….we really like la loca lohan though, shes a fucking decent actress, we just think that crazy faced Dina jaded her at a young age

Why do you guys think Lindsay is taking this picture and give us a caption……..