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Archive for the ‘We just don't get it’ Category

According to author and veteran Washington journalist Ron Kessler’s new book the U.S. secrect service has cut corners in ways that may have jeopardized The President and his family. The agents assigned to Obama and Biden are described in the book as dedicated and valiant, but Kessler states firmly that in recent years the management of the agency “has betrayed it’s mission by cutting corners, potentially risking the assassination of President Barack Obama, Vice President Joe Biden, and their families. One current agent tells Kessler, “It’s a miracle we have not had a successful assassination.” Kessler states the cutting corners started during the Bush campaign when the secret service were assigned to the coked out free willed Bush twins. What I don’t understand is why the President is getting the bootleg security that couldn’t even keep up with a pair of Bushs’? This blunt is for both President Obama and Vice President Biden in the hopes that you tighten up your security. The book is titled, “In the President’s Secret Service: Behind the Scenes with Agents in the Line of Fire and the Presidents They Protect,” and is due out on Auguest 4th.

While we’re on the subject of jeff conaway’s adopted daughter Lindsay, I thought I’d let you guys know that she is planning to start her own production company. She is reportedly teaming up with shitty business partner Kristi Kaylor, hopefully Kaylor will be different than the partner who was behind her stolen spray tan line, for which she is currently being sued. The pair are planning to create TV and movie projects that no one will watch in which Lohan can star in and do her best Tara Reid impression have already set the wheels in motion for two projects.

Lohan also plans to make the “female fashionista’s” answer to hit HBO series Entourage called Faux Real and a game show tentatively called That’s What Friends Are For, which will partner with charitable organizations. I don’t really mind what kind of fancy names you give these shows, but they can both be easily defined as… garbage. Can someone get Seacrest on the line please…Lindsay needs a second opportunity to star in Living Lohan because straight to DVD movies like Labor Pains just aren’t cutting it.  Lindsay, I want you to do well, really, so when your movie is released i’m going to get sky high and force myself to watch you new flick and everyone else should do the same.

Ok, so last time we saw Ashlee Simpson embarrass herself with her music she was on stage moving her lips on SNL, wait no she was getting boo’d off stage at a college football game. Either incident you look at will fail by comparison to her upcoming project. According to the NY Post’s website Ashlee’s new album will cover some of the great songs by the king of pop Michael Jackson. Wow, not only would it be hard for a talented singer to cover Michael’s work but an average singer like Ashlee will realize it’s damn near impossible for her to sound anything like Michael. According to the NY Post website Joe Simpson has been working on new angles for Ashlee’s career and this was his final gameplan. Not even a couple blunt’s deep would make me think that was a good idea for Ashlee just due to the fact that people are going to hear a Michael Jackson song and hear Ashlee’s voice and the first thing that will come to people’s minds is… kareoke anyone? Sorry Papa Joe, but this isn’t a smart financial move because Ashlee Simpson fans probably have no clue who Michael Jackson was aren’t that stupid. This blunt’s for you Ashlee, good luck, sorry Papa Joe none for you because this idea just doesn’t make sense to me.

UPDATE: Soon after news of her upcoming cover cd began making rounds on the web yesterday she tweeted the following

“Haha jeez. I loved mj enough 2 never to in my wildest dreams think of doing a tribute album. R.I.P. A legend. Enough with the goofy stories!”

After her cholita moment not too long ago, I didn’t think things with her could get more peculiar interesting, but here she is with a dmoinatrix sex toy mask a work of art on her face. In the interview she  gave to the Maltese press, she never removes the creation and speaks about how she has been inspired by things like sex, porn, and also reveals that she is practically a hermit, living a life of solitude, controlled by her music. Hermit or not we get her a bit. Mystery is hot and Lady Gaga has “mysterious” down very well, but please….when you’re playing with Tom Sizemore’s sex tape toys you want to be mysterious, don’t cover your face with things.

According to the NY Daily News the fucking crazies that kill people for a living Taliban has been buying and selling children to use on their “martyrdom” missions. The supposed trafficking is being orchestrated by Baitullah Mehsud, who is an Al Queda ally and the head of Pakistani terror efforts. And although I was trying to stick with the facts on this one….WTF is going on with the apple pie on his head, fuck now im hungry…or it could be the munchies..his hair looks like Chaka Kahn’s bush that of a bum-ass terrorist so I guess ill leave it at that.

Both US and Pakistani military have been targeting Taliban strongholds controlled by Mehsud. On Tuesday, a U.S. drone fired a missile into a Taliban camp near the Afghan border, according to intelligence officials.

“He has been been admitting he holds a training center for young boys, for preparing them for suicide bombing,”  Maj. Gen. Akhtar Abbas, spokesman for the Pakistani army, told CNN. “So he is on record saying all this, accepting these crimes.”

You know, now that I think about it, I’ve known that human trafficking is a very real thing i our world,but I just never thought that people were being sold into the world of terrorism. Its some pretty heavy shit, but its real and if people don’t know that its going on, it can’t change….so bowl packs and positive thoughts go out to the victims of such disgusting crimes.

Alright so Lindsay Lohan has been in and out of the news for a number of dumb shit lesbian encounters with Samantha Ronson recently but US Weekly is reporting that the actress who’s been in such movies as “I Know Who Killed Me” had the audacity to turn down the part of Jade the stripper in the box office blockbuster “The Hangover”. Though all we see Lohan doing lately is participating in an on again off again lesbian relationship with Samantha, all we hear from her publicist is that she’s a workaholic and wants to be a huge actress. Well someone might want to tell her that her film choices, just like her relationships, blow. She believed the screenplay had no potential, $268 million worldwide later, she should probably never speak again. Here’s a passage from the US Weekly article;

Lindsay Lohan passed up a chance at a career comeback. The hard-partying starlet turned down a role in the summer blockbuster “The Hangover,” according to Us Weekly, because she said the screenplay “had no potential.” Todd Phillips, who directed the comedy, offered Lohan the role of Jade, a stripper played by Heather Graham. One source told the magazine Lohan’s agent “tried hard to get Phillips to consider her,” but “Lindsay said she didn’t like the script.” Lohan’s rep didn’t return e-mails.

Though we don’t particularly care about Heather Graham, we’re happy she had the sense to take the role and to her credit, acted rather well in the movie. Sorry Lindsay you missed the chance to actually be remembered as something other than an alcoholic lesbian party girl with an even bigger alcoholic party girl as a mother (mmmhmm we see you Dina). This blunt’s for you because when you hear how much the movie made it should make you nauseous and herb can help with that.

Also anyone who hasn’t seen “The Hangover” yet please go and see it, it’s definatley worth the price of a ticket but for a heightened comedy experience make sure you have some herbal refreshment as well.

Hoes are apparently still fucking stupid taking meth in a big way….

Former U.S. figure skating champion Nicole Bobek has been charged with conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine in Hudson County, New Jersey. Bobek who hasn’t won a title since 1995 was arrested in Jupiter, FL last week and brought to New Jersey to faces charges for conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine. Nicole pleaded not guilty and is currently muff diving because no one will get her out waiting on $200,000 bail.

We don’t condone taking part in meth rings, because that shit is stupid and weed is better but there’s no doubt in my head that this crazy chick was hard up for cash when she decided to get involved. I just wish she would think about what she’s doing before she ends up looking like Stephanie Pratt.  The prosecutor handling the case said Bobek, “played a significant role in this operation. She was actively involved in the upper echelon of this ring.” If found guilty, Nicole could get up to 10 years in the slammer and a much needed fuckin detox from her life of meth rings..you know maybe she thought that she had to go through a meth ring to return to the skating ring???? NAH, im not even going to give her that “i’m a dumb shit excuse”, cause she might use it.

I’ll also take this time to throw a warning to all the potential “Nicole Bobeks” that we have out there……when you’re hurting for dough don’t get involved in hardcore drug rings, smoke a lot of weed and collect unemployment suck that shit up and get a job at Mcdonalds.