My Daily Toke

WTF is Lindsay Lohan doing back in Colorado? is the first though that popped in my head when I heard this….and then I realized that she’s been in LA chasing a boyish looking lesbian for quite sometime, so the story of a lifetime isn’t here yet. A grand jury indicted a surgery technician infected with hepatitis C on several charges Thursday, alleging she stole syringes with painkillers and replaced them with needles she had used. Prosecutors allege that at least 19 people contracted the disease as a result.

26 year old Kristine Diane Parker is responsible for directly infecting the 19 people through the shared use of her dirty needles. Officials say up to 6,000 patients at Denver’s Rose Medical Center and Audubon Surgery Center in Colorado Springs where Parker worked may have been exposed to the disease. Calls to spokesmen at both hospitals were not immediately returned. Parker also worked at hospitals in Mount Kisco, N.Y., and Houston. Health officials in those states have launched investigations. In a recent interview with police Parker has said that she didn’yt have health insurance to treat her nasty std disease and she was also unclear abot her diagnosis. State Health officials say that they are working with the CDC to trace the disease, but we think they should have Paris Hilton on the ob, becase her body seeks out and welcomes stds, almost like her snatch acts as a rest-stop for hep c, the herp, and the like…

This is really crazy that this surgery tech who works in close quarters with the ill, thinks she can fuck around and give possibly 6000 people her scheevy diseases…Lock her upand scrub her down please..barf..and that mugshot, she kinda looks like a young Dina Lohan

In a month where we lost Infommercial icon Billy Mays, the commercial industry mourns another loss today, the Taco Bell chihuahua Gidget had to be euthanized yesterday after suffering a massive stroke late Tuesday in her trainers home in Santa Clarita, she was 15 years old. Gidget appeared as the mascot in the Taco Bell commercials from 1997-2000 and was the only dog used to film the quote “Yo quiero Taco Bell”. Gidget also was featured in “Legally Blonde 2″ A few tokes in memory of Gidget. I think I’ll go get a crunchy taco today and yell something crazy at the drive-thru person then when they ask me what i’ve said, i’ll tell them that it was Gidget the taco bell dog using me as a conduit and he wants you to slip a carmel apple empanada in the bag for him…but i’m not so sure it will work…

To see Gidget in action click here

Here comes another example of the lengths that crazies will go to for money. Though it doesn’t surprise me because our country was partially built on it, another corruption case has been popped open. The mayors of three New Jersey cities, two state legislators and several rabbis were among more than 40 people arrested today in a sweeping corruption investigation that began as a probe into an international money laundering ring that trafficked in goods as diverse as human organs and fake designer handbags. Among 44 people arrested Thursday were Hoboken Mayor Peter Cammarano III, Secaucus Mayor Dennis Elwell, Jersey City Deputy Mayor Leona Beldini, state Assemblyman President L. Harvey Smith and state Assemblyman Daniel Van Pelt.

With their actions ranging from taking cash bribes and illegal campaign contributions all the way to selling fuckin organs, I feel safe saying that most of those people will be heavily punished ecause not only does this make NJ look like even more of a dirty awful place, but 3 mayor from the state are involved, not just one guy, and these people aren’t just cheating on their wives or getting BJ’s in inappropriate places, or fathering illegitamate children like John Edwards..and there are rabbi criminals…but we can see who they are because theyre curls stick out underneath their ski mask/yamaka  hybrids that Jews where when they commit crimes, allegedly…this is some serious criminal shit and the only way I want any part of NJ is if all these creeps get whats coming to them, which will hopefully be a bar of soap that they’ll spend years unsuccessfully, trying not to drop

I know that people say some smokers are paranoid consporacy theroists but, cloining from mouse skin cells might possibly be alien technology and its a bit too advamced for my mind to fathom and not just because mice always make me think the movie the witches, and that movie creeps the fuck outta me……In the new studies, the Chinese researchers wanted to see whether reprogrammed skin cells really have as much potential as embryonic stem cells. They reasoned that if those reprogrammed skin cells could give rise to baby mice, that would be a favorable sign.

The findings show the potential of skin cells that are reprogrammed to act like embryonic stem cells, note the researchers. Here’s how the scientis performed the cloining:

First, the scientists took skin cells from mouse embryos and reprogrammed those skin cells to act like embryonic stem cells. Those reprogrammed cells are called induced pluripotent stem cells (iPSCs).Separately, the scientists fused two early-stage mouse embryos together, when each embryo only consisted of one or two cells. The resulting embryo couldn’t develop on its own.The researchers then inserted the iPSCs into that embryo and placed it into a surrogate mouse mother.That technique led to the birth of 27 mice for one team of Chinese scientists, which has now had hundreds of baby mice born from that first generation of mice. That shows that the iPSCs were “pluripotent,” or similar in their potential to embryonic stem cells.

That is some crazy jetson type shit but I love it….i think i’ll consider being cryogenically frozen or something, I haven’t yet gotten the chance to be a Somalian pirate for a day and in another lifetime sounds like the perfect time to do it, ut i’m on cloud nine right now so i’ll give it so more consideration at a better time

Coke is promoting it’s new “freestyle” soda fountain which lets you choose over 100 flavor options. If that doesn’t sound fantastic already the whole fountain will be operated by a touchscreen. Watch the video to see how it works but be careful because the guy presenting the new machine may have dyed his eyebrows and has beaty little eyes that seem to stare into your soul. In a country on the verge of legalizing cannabis this fountain is guaranteed to satisfy any herb enthusiasts sweet tooth.

According to the Dallas Morning news, Police are investigating a multiple shooting reported on the Texas Southern University campus. Currently there is now word on the identities or the conditions of thoss who have been shot. The shooting took place at an event Wednesday night hosted by city council member Peter Brown, who is running for mayor.

KTRK-TV in Houston reports Houston police say four people in all were shot at three different locations within a block, one on campus and two off campus.It’s so bizzaro world to me that things ike this are still happening in the world at a time when what we really all we really need is togetherness, we joke around and talk a lot of shit about people, but it’s all in good fun, …the national ecoonomy is in the shitter, swine flu is rapidly spreading and people still wanna run around shooting innocent people….this is America, I love this country but some of our people need a fuckin wake up call…Our respects go out to the families of the deceased its pretty unfortunate that they had to loose their loved ones in such a tragic way, we can only hope that authorities can find who ever is responsible very soon

This year we caught a glimpse of what to expect as a singer from Heidi Montag, 1/2 of the infamous Speidi, on “I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” but now we will be tortured blessed with a full performance from Heidi at the Miss Universe pageant next month. As crazy as Spencer may be he does have a way of getting himself and his wife in the spotlight at any given moment. Heidi will be performing on August 23rd and we’re extremly curious about how she’s going to sound but if the title of the song she’ll perform, “Turn Ya Head”, sounds as bad as I believe it will then she’s going to be in trouble (think Ashlee Simpson ala SNL). While it’s uncertain if Spencer will be there we can’t see him not showing up to support his cash cow Heidi. Some advice for Spencer and anyone else watching August 23rd, before her performance starts spark up some good quality herb and if that doesn’t help just press mute.

Anything is possible if you’re famous. Or at least for the kid who plays Vincent Crabbee in the Harry Potter movies. Jamie Waylett who has starred in all six Harry Potter movies was uber lucky to only recieve 120 hours of community service for growing  a plant that should be legal a crime for which he could have recieved upto 14 years in jail. Jamie  was busted back in April when cops found eight bags of weed in the car in which he was riding. Cops later searched his mom’s home and found 10 growing marijuana plants. The judge was reportedly so lenient because he understood that the plants were on a small scale and were only for his use.

His community service could include clearing graveyards, cleaning graffiti, picking up trash, chopping down overgrown trees clearing, leaves and clearing ditches. He should feel like the luckiest kid on earth, but he shouldn’t have to if marijuana were legal….tokes for Jamie for pleading guilty, taking your sentence and growing madd amounts weed….If someone is growing 10 plants it probably isn’t on a small scale

A report that has just been released to the public reveals that America’s federal transportation safety agency wanted a total ban on all cell phone use for drivers, including the use of hands-free headsets, because of the risk. One big problem is that the report is from 2002 and has been kept secret, for a reason that is yet unknown. That is some Rush Limbaugh getting crazy amounts of pills from his maid type shit and it makes me pretty pissed. Two public interest groups were able to get ahold of the document as a result of a lawsuit citing the Freedom of Information Act. They chose to realease it Tuesday. Part of the report reads:

“We are convinced that legislation forbidding the use of handheld cell phones while driving may not be effective in improving highway safety since it will not address the problem,” the report states. “In fact, such legislation may erroneously imply that hands-free phones are safe to use while driving.”

Sometimes I forget how corrupt some people in our country can be..and then things like this happen. Though I don’t want to jump to conclusions it could appear as though some major cell phone providers and the Govt. are all greedy fucks that don’t care about lives if large amounts of money are on the line were in cahoots to keep this from the public for fear of monetary loss??? People should realize that it’s not the smartest thing to be wrapped in a conversation while having to focus on controlling your vehicle and also observing the actions of other drivers, not to mention holding the fucking thing and the wheel at the same time…..arghhhh (somalian pirate grunt, it helps release steam).Curretly 87% of the US population owns a celleular device, while back in 2002 only about half of the US had cell phones. The problem has only gotten worse and people shouldn’t lose their lives because of someones deceit or their stupidity.

The human skeleton known as Marc Anthony and his wife Jennifer Lopez held a news conference in NYC yesterday afternoon where Marc was introduced as a partial owner of the Miami Dolphins. The Miami Dolphins have been trying to get in position to sell tickets and have targeted their community whose majority is Latino. Gloria Estefan was introduced as partial owner earlier this year. This is what Marc told People magazine,

“It would have probably been cheaper just to buy season tickets!” “I’m a huge sports fan and these oppertunities don’t come around too often. It’s quite an honor and a privilege to be able to sit here today saying that I’m a part-owner of an NFL team.”

Majority owner Stephen Ross discussed how Marc became involved with the Dolphins.

“We spoke for quite a while about his vision for the team and it was just intoxicating. Marc’s a pretty bright guy and he has a lot of interesting ideas. We’re trying to do something different and he was thinking outside the box. I thought it would be a great fit and fun to do something.”

All Miami Dolphins fans can do is hope that there won’t be any halftime shows centered around Marc Anthony performing anything at all…not even the star spangled banner……for serious.