My Daily Toke

According to a source Amy and her father Mitch want to develop her trademark “smoky” look into a woman’s fragrance. What I don’t think Amy and her father have realized is that Amy’s “smoky” look isn’t a good thing at all.

“Mitch is keen to license Amy’s name to a perfume house. He has been in talks with manufacturers and contacted PR firms for advice. They want it to reflect her style with a classic smoky 1950s look and smell”, a source says, “Amy is keen to expand her brand and wants to get on the celebrity perfumes bandwagon while she can. They know her fans love to copy her style. Her trademark fashion and beehive hair-do were last year’s must-have look.”

Unfortunately for Amy, Fragrance experts aren’t sure they want to work with the celebrity rehab singer because they’re worried customers will be discouraged by Amy’s disheveled appearance. One perfume insider said the most truthful hilarious comment I’ve ever heard:

“Frankly, she doesn’t look like she smells that nice, so doing some positive publicity to prove it doesn’t just smell of stale alcohol and cigarettes would be vital.”

I do believe she’ll make a ton of money with her perfume but they’ll just have to market the scent to a certain population, crystle meth tweekers  like Aaron Carter would love to get their shakey hands on a bottle of what Amy Winehouse smells like. Amy this blunt’s for you in the hope that you can stop being a trainreck and just worry about making music.

A while ago NBA superstar Lebron James was attending his summer camp when a pick up game got started. During the game Lebron was dunked on by Xavier  University star Jordan Crawford and it was caught on tape. Nike being the douches they are confiscated the video and refused to release it because they didn’t want any bad publicity on their products because Lebron has an extensive shoe line as well as promotional intrests with Nike. Thanks to Ebaumnation.com the video is now released for all to see, I’ve watched it 5 times now and I honestly don’t understand why the video wasn’t released sooner. I don’t believe Lebron James got dunked on hard at all, I was expecting a giant facial. Watch the video and decide for yourself but I think Nike overacted in this situation and it makes them look bad. This blunt’s for you Jordan Crawford for dunking on the “king” Lebron James.

This video that has been cut down and given a title I like much better (Beyonce Clown) comes from youtube user Coconutfishy and is pretty hilarious. I wont give it away so just watch and don’t hit your bong during it (do it before and after)….. smoke+laughing=too much coughing. Plus it’s a clown that is possibly a better actress than the large thighed one we like to call Beyonce, and I don’t even know if she acts. we kid we kid…but then again does anyone besides Solange really enoy her acting?

According to Bloomberg.com, CSL is testing the vaccine over the next seven weeks as it prepares to fill orders from Australia, the U.S. and Singapore. The World Health Organization and Melbourne-based CSL’s larger rivals such as Sanofi-Aventis SA will be watching the test to help determine whether one or two shots are needed to protect people and how many doses can be produced. Currently all 204 volunteers are required to keep a diary for six months and record any signs and symbols as it is a new vaccine.

Since the Swine Flu has already killed nearly 700 people globally and sickened many more the World Health Organization has stopped reporting on it’s daily status. That really doesn’t provide any kind of hope for those in the world who might be at risk to catching what has made mexico the shittiest place to go this, but it’s ok just be cautious follow the CDC’s guidelines for prevention. Please don’t catch swine flu people, I don’t know if I would like you

We all seem to have that one grandmother who loves to go to the casino to play slots, but most of us haven’t been stuck in a car with no air conditioner just so grandma can feed her addictions. A 54 year old Florida woman was sentenced yesterday to 14 months house arrest and 3 years of probation for leaving her 2 year old granddaughter and 14 year old grandson in a car outside a Hallandale Beach casino back in August of 2008 so she can go inside and play the slots. Someone walked by the car and noticed the children just sitting there and told casino security who alerted the authorities. The prosecutor told the South Florida Sun Sentinel that the 54 year old woman had pleaded guilty to charges including felony child abuse and misdemeanor contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

When I was young my grandmother brought me to the casino and dumped me off in the kid area. I would spend countless hours playing video games and from what I remember I had a great time but I always knew if the kids area wasn’t there I might be locked in a car with no air conditioning with one window cracked just enough to breathe. So this story isn’t that crazy to me (or it could be the quality herb I’ve consumed). This blunt goes out to the grandmother sentenced in the hope that next time she gets that thought she’ll spark up and reconsider…well she does have 14 months of house arrest to think about it, but she’ll probably be busy gambling online.

This is one baby step for California’s budget crisis and an even bigger step toward medical marijuana dispensaries being respected as legitimate businesses. In Oakland, CA yesterday voters made the city the first in the US to tax medical marijuana dispensaries, in what was said to be a landslide vote. About 80% voted in favor of the tax according to  the Almeda County registrar of voters. This new tax comes at a time when Oakland is in massive debt, like most cities in the state. What’s interesting is that it wasn’t the city council that proposed the tax or a legislator, it was a local dispensary owner who felt that he and the cities other dispensaries should put some of their excess income to good use by putting back into the community. One of the dispensary owners that CNN spoke to said that under the new tax he would be contributing an extra 350,000 roughly each year. The new tax measures out to be about $18 for every $1,000 in cannabis sales.

This is fucking sweet to see happening. It seems like it was just yesterday when Arnold the Governator mentioned that maybe we should look into researching the pros and cons of legalization and now one city in CA has imposed this new legislation. Could this be a sign of what is to happen in cities like Los Angeles where there are over 600 dispensaries and collectives? We certainly hope so because we don’t know how much longer companies in CA will continue to take IOUs from the state. There are currently more places where you can obtain legal marijuana in LA than where  you can buy Starbucks and Mcdonalds french fries and if all of them can be taxed a significant amount of revenue would be generated for the state. Maybe then the rest of the country will realize that it is a real way to gather funds for our growing defecit and begin law reform.  Tokes for Oakland and its forward thinking citizens.

Well the shit has certainly hit the fan…In what is beginning to feel like a movie being drawn out before the world there’s new news related to the King of Pop’s death. Early this morning DEA agents were in Houston, TX  to serve Murray with a search warrant for his medical office in the city. Among the items that were seized were a digital image of the doctor’s hard drive and 21 files from the computer itself.

“We reviewed the warrant and remained on the premises while the search was being executed,” says Murray’s lawyer Ed Chernoff in a statement. “The search warrant authorized law enforcement to search for and seize items, including documents, they believed constituted evidence of the offense of manslaughter.”

This is soooo bananas. I want to believe that MJ just died from taking a medication that he shouldn’t have, since we know that diprovan was found in his home and that he was the person who made the choices to put certain things in his body. To think that his death could be manslaughter that is voluntary is something that I just don’t want to think about now. Dr. Murray is one shady fuckin character and we don’t like him or Rupert Everett for talking crazy about MJ  just for publicity. Yes Rupert, a few more people will know your name now, but they still wont pay 10 bucks to see any of the shitty films that you’re in.

p.s……Rupert, nice work that you had done on your face…..NOT

• Uh oh, Ben Roethlisberger may have pulled a Kobe, allegedly…. – AssociatedPress

• New Crackberry Storm 2 in action – Gizmodo

• Twilight fans now have chocolate figures to drool over, i’m pretty much over it – Perezhilton

• Male Circumcision improves sex for women…and I was thinking it was all me – WebMD

• Obama health plan very close, but still needs work….stop smoking cigs mr. president – Reuters

• Jews are everywhere, including Comic-Con, and me likey – JewishJournal

• 50 Cent still hasn’t been able to sell Mike Tyson’s old crack den former CT mansion – TMZ

• Jake Gyllenhal looks less like the Prince of Persia and more like a gay waiter at medieval times – Empire
  

• David Beckham booed at the LA Galaxy game and almost fights fans, Tom Cruise must have been there?? – ITNnews

• Continental Airlines cutting jobs and raising fees, WTF – Wallstreet Journal

• Coca-Cola’s 2nd quarter earnings reached 8.27 Billion – Reuters

• Dark Knight motorcycle suit replica for sale, it’s mine bitches – Likecool

• Beastie Boys frontman diagnosed with treatable cancer, tour canceled…smoke it up – Mashable

Fresh off his 18 month prison sentence and a 2 month house arrest stint stemming from his involvement in a dog fighting operation. Although the former dog killer has been relased he may not make a quick return to the NFL. Vick, a quarterback, is not eligible to restart his football career until he is reinstated by N.F.L. Commissioner Roger Goodell. Goodell who has previously mentioned that he would not consider re-instating Vick into the NFL until after he had completed his full sentence,but no word has been given as to if he’s begun pondering this issue. The fact that training camp starts in about a week for most teams doesn’t really help his situation much, but it’s not like he was playing before he went to prison. Michael has been out of the NFL for nearly 2 years and while in jail and under home confinement he hadnt had much o an opportunity to train.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that I doubt Vick will be playing this season in the NFL. He has been offered a chance to become a member of the United Football League, but the caces of him actually taking that job are slim to none, unless his reported pending bankruptcy is true and not just fodder. Maybe Vick shouldnt have been killing dogs and shit and I wouldnt be writing about this, he’d still be playing football, and the world would be a little bit happier…..but we live in reality so Vick we’re glad you’ve done your time, now its time to get your act together and fly straight otherwise your next job might be catching fucking dogs rather than penning them against each other to fight.