In what is beginning to look like a press tour, Joe “let’s pimp out my dead son” Jackson made a stop at the zombies ultimate playground Larry King Live and sat down with the immortal one. Among some of the outlandish claims made by Jackson was this which forced me to take a second listen:

“The media keep hollering about saying that I beat Michael. That’s not true. You know what this beat started — beat started in the slavery days. Where they used to beat the slaves and then they used to torture them. That’s where this beating started. These slave masters, and that’s where that come from. But, hey, there’s a lot of people in America, Larry, a lot of people in America spank their kids, you know? They say they don’t, they’re lying. They’re lying. Now, Michael was never beaten by me, I’ve never beaten at all.”

Joe also proceeded to to shoot down rumors that just last week he propositioned Michael’s children to form a group and tour as the Jackson 3 next summer. Well I won’t spoil it for you, the vid is posted up top, check it out, but i’m warning you, don’t look at Larry King directly in the eyes, it adds time to his life.

Apparently when someone dies others receive magical singing and songwriting talents that they’ve never had before. Well that’s not true so La Toya’s new song dedicated to her recently deceased brother, the king of pop, is still bound to be mediocre at best. I guess if she isn’t out getting paid for interviews any longer she needed a way to capitalize on her brother’s death and what better way than to make noise and call it a song.  The name of the song is “home” and it will be released via Itunes on July 28th. La Toya had originally recorded the song back in 2002 for her dollar tree CD Startin’ Over album.

According to La Toya all 10 dollars that will be made proceeds from the single will go to AIDS Project LA, a charity that Michael had previously supported. Since she is actually doing it for what seems like a good cause we might buy it, mostly for the creepy sexy cover art we know she will have for the single. The song has hit youtbe and i’ve posted it above, listen with earplugs in like I did and it will be a bit less painful, you’ve been warned.

Ok, so last time we saw Ashlee Simpson embarrass herself with her music she was on stage moving her lips on SNL, wait no she was getting boo’d off stage at a college football game. Either incident you look at will fail by comparison to her upcoming project. According to the NY Post’s website Ashlee’s new album will cover some of the great songs by the king of pop Michael Jackson. Wow, not only would it be hard for a talented singer to cover Michael’s work but an average singer like Ashlee will realize it’s damn near impossible for her to sound anything like Michael. According to the NY Post website Joe Simpson has been working on new angles for Ashlee’s career and this was his final gameplan. Not even a couple blunt’s deep would make me think that was a good idea for Ashlee just due to the fact that people are going to hear a Michael Jackson song and hear Ashlee’s voice and the first thing that will come to people’s minds is… kareoke anyone? Sorry Papa Joe, but this isn’t a smart financial move because Ashlee Simpson fans probably have no clue who Michael Jackson was aren’t that stupid. This blunt’s for you Ashlee, good luck, sorry Papa Joe none for you because this idea just doesn’t make sense to me.

UPDATE: Soon after news of her upcoming cover cd began making rounds on the web yesterday she tweeted the following

“Haha jeez. I loved mj enough 2 never to in my wildest dreams think of doing a tribute album. R.I.P. A legend. Enough with the goofy stories!”

The live memorial service has begun and it seems as though even in death Michael Jackson can’t escape his black roots and he is currently on CPT Joe Jackson and the crew are holding up the celebration because the memorial hasn’t actually started yet and was scheduled to begin at 1PM ET. So while you wait, grab your Dangerous album and a white glove and enjoy The King of Pop’s final farewell. RIP….jam on!

Nope, little miss Sarah Palin hasn’t made another stunningly foolish insightful and inspiring press conference about her premature departure from office as governor of Alaska. This disgusting display of famewhore desire that goes beyond that of our most villianized duo, Speidi, gem  of a video comes to us via NY republican congressman Pete King. In the video made a few days ago,Pete King says that we as a country should look beyond the greatness that was Michael Jackson, labeling him as a pervert and pedophile, two things that we know Michael was not. He believes that we should be glorifying our veterans and teachers and police officers instead of spending time celebrating the life of a supremely influential artist.

Well Pete is entitled to his opinion, but his views simply contradict themselves. How on one hand do you say that you would like to celebrate the actions of certain groups of people while simultaneously trying to “shit on” the legacy of another person. I’m not so sure what school of thought Pete’s thinking has been created from, but “fucking retard dip-shit lowlife hungry hippo” might be it. In the great sense of extreme boredom and self-loathing exploration I actually visited Pete King’s site and I was sadly greeted with more ignorance. So if you feel like a need to be amongst the unintelligent and cruel make a stop there and also you can call and say hello to Pete, maybe tell him that he should be more focused on government and his constituents rather than searching for fame, because one pit bull in lipstick is enough.

Pete is a very sad important individual and can be reached at 516-541-4225….or….202-225-7896…..or 631-541-4225

We’re not gonna make definite decisions on what we think the figure that passes through the doorway is, but something is definitely there and we know that had Larry King seen it he would’ve died! Just kidding…everyone knows that vampires Larry King can’t die.

Since im a huge Michael Jackson fan, I’ve seen the video maybe 60 times…yes fuckers, I’m  a paranormal specialist very busy doing things, but Michael is important, and if he’s really trying to reach us already then I’m gonna be on this shit before Nancy Grace’s fat cheeks inquisitive face makes a comment on the video. At around the 0:20 mark of the video you can clearly notice a shadowy figure walk east to west across a hallway. At first I thought well maybe its someone in another part of the house or a shadow from outside, but after about replay number 15 I noticed that the shadow is also on the floor on the home and moves perfectly with the possible apparition.

FYI- If you watch the video after enjoying some “herbal refreshment,” be prepared for an influx of conspiracy theories about the video to rapidly enter your brain….jam on!

What do you guys think the figure in the video is???